Camping With Your Two Gay Dads

My very first camping trip was with my two gay dads, Alan and Sean. I was 12 years old. It was the first time mom had allowed me to spend time away with them and I was determined to make it go as smoothly as possible and therefore envisage future trips.

A Seemingly Great Idea

Alan (my biological dad) was hell-bent on making my trip to the great outdoors the ultimate camping experience (I’m sure at the time he didn’t mean this as in my last camping experience). So, in the spirit of adventure, Sean (not so biological) thought it would be awesome if I shot my very own deer, cooked it and ate it. As you can imagine, the idea of killing Bambi didn’t exactly fill me with joy, but seeing the look in Sean’s eyes, I decided to go with it (I mean we were out in Irish Midlands, how many deer were we going see)?

Aim and Shoot

Camping With Your Two Gay Dad'sSean brought out his father’s rifle, which had been in his family for generations (I really wished it had stayed there). He loaded it, propped it up on tree stump and made me get down low beside him. Then we just waited…and waited and waited, until finally we heard a noise! There was something behind the big tree to the left of our camp! My dads shushed me excitedly, telling me to take aim, and when the deer poked its head out to blow it off (not Alan’s finest moment).

It Went Off!

As the noise got louder, my grip on the trigger tightened, ‘’Not yet, not yet’’ Sean was hissing in my ear, then ‘’NOW’’ he shouted. Before I knew what was happening I had pulled the trigger, we heard a shrill scream, and then out from behind the tree ran my mother, screaming at top of her lungs! Alan ran to meet her. ‘’What are you doing?” he shouted.
My mother’s response, “Are you trying to get yourself killed? You gave James a gun? He’s 12 years old. Are you crazy?” After that, the only thing I can remember is being dragged by my mother to her car, my dads running after us shouting, and us driving away to the sound of “Uptown Girl”.

When it had all calmed down two weeks later, I begged my dads never to bring me camping ever again, and they agreed. However, although it had been pretty much the shortest, worst camping trip ever, it is definitely something I will never ever forget.

Author: Rody White
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