Camping Jokes

Funny Camping Lessons: Murphy’s Laws of Camping

Funny Camping Lessons: Murphy's Laws of CampingHere I will share some of the Funny Camping Lessons I found. You might call them the “Murphy’s Laws of Camping”. I’m sure you can relate to some of these common situations. Oh the joys of camping! Read some of these camping lessons and laugh off the bittersweet misery that camping seems to always entail.

Funny Camping Lessons:

  • In a mummy bag the urgency of one’s need to urinate is inversely proportional to the amount of clothing worn. It is also inversely proportional to the temperature and the degree to which the mummy bag is completely zipped up.
  • The distance to a given camp site remains constant as twilight approaches.
  • Waterproof clothing isn’t. (However, it is 100% effective at containing sweat).
  • The area of level ground in the neighborhood tends to vanish as the need to make camp becomes finite.
  • The width of backpack straps decreases with the distance hiked. To compensate, the weight of the backpack increases.
  • Average temperature increases with the amount of clothing brought.
  • Tent stakes come only in the quantity “N-1” where N is the number of stakes necessary to stake down a tent.
  • Propane/butane tanks that are full when they are packed, will unexplainably empty themselves before you can reach the campsite.
  • Given a chance, matches will find a way to get wet.
  • All foods assume a uniform taste, texture, and colour when freeze-dried.
  • The weight in a backpack can never remain uniformly distributed.
  • The probability of diarrhea increases with the square of the thistle content of the local vegetation.
  • All tree branches in a forest grow outward from their respective trunks at exactly the height of your nose. If you are male, tree branches will also grow at groin height.
  • You will lose the little toothpick in your Swiss Army knife as soon as you open the box.
  • Enough dirt will get tracked into the tent on the first day out, that you can grow the food you need for the rest of the trip in rows between sleeping bags.
  • When camping in late fall or winter, your underwear will stay at approximately 35.702 degrees Kelvin no matter how long you keep it in your sleeping bag with you.
  • Bears.
  • Tents never come apart as easily when you’re leaving a site as when you’re trying to get them set up in the first place.
  • When planning to take time off of work/school for your camping trip, always add an extra week, because when you get home from your “vacation” you’ll be too tired to go back for a week after.
  • Any stone in a hiking boot migrates to the location of maximum pressure.
  • Number of mosquitoes at any given location is inversely proportional to the volume of remaining repellent.
  • The probability of finding a latrine is one over the number of poison ivy plants per acre.
  • The square feet of level ground available for tents equals the degrees from horizon of the setting sun.

So, there you have it. Those are some of the Murphy’s Laws of Camping. If you want to find more of these funny camping lessons read Murphy’s Laws of Camping: Funny Camping Lessons. Or, read more of our Funny Camping Jokes! You know it’ll be more fun reading these than doing something actually important.

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(The CampTrip Team)


About the Author

has written 48 articles on CampTrip.

Kaitlyn loves camping and travelling to new and interesting places. She lives to explore the world and has no intentions of slowing down. Kaitlyn can often be found day dreaming and eating ice.

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3 responses to "Funny Camping Lessons: Murphy’s Laws of Camping"

  • I enjoy reading your posts! They are all funny yet very true! This is my favorite Murphy’s Law for Camping: “All tree branches in a forest grow outward from their respective trunks at exactly the height of your nose. If you are male, tree branches will also grow at groin height.” 🙂

  • Kaitlyn says:

    Thank you Camper Glamis! I’m happy you enjoy them! Thank you very much for reading the articles and getting involved by writing comments! I like your Murphy’s Law, I have found that to be very true! At least in the nose area 😉

  • Peter Wolczuk says:

    It also seems that, as the urgency to pack up for a long drive home increases, so does the probability of the family dog proudly strolling into the campsite dragging a dead skunk.
    What’s to be done? Find mud (or make it by adding a bit of water to dry dirt) and rub it into the dog’s fur. Keep him on a low priority blanket during the drive and, when the mud dries, pull over and brush it away onto the ground and most of the smell goes away with it.

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